You were born as a perfect ball of light. Completely gorgeously perfect, beautiful, magnificent, splendid, magical, indescribable and invisible. The first moment you were traumatized it was like your ball of light got a chokehold. That chokehold did two things it disconnected that part of your energy from you and it created a part of your “personality”. In so doing it made part of you visible. As time went by you started having more and more traumas turning into chokeholds, making more and more parts of you inaccessible to you, and giving you a more rigid and visible personality. In fact so many of us have a tiny amount of our energy actually accessible to us while the rest of it is completely cut off from us through these numerous chokeholds.
Now here is the thing your ball of light was completely invisible since every time you stood in front of the mirror you couldn’t see it, you could only see the chokeholds blocking the light. Therefore you never came to identify as the invisible indescribable infinite eternal ball of light which was full of possibility, rather others and by extension you came to define you as these chokeholds only. Blocking the light, these chokeholds are actually the “Not You” part and not the actual “You” part.
Imagine the chokeholds created a “Q” form when you looked in the mirror. So others and you came to know yourself as Q. Now imagine thanks to some massive inner work, you managed to get rid of some of these chokeholds, let’s say the bottom part of Q. So now standing in front of the mirror you see “O”. Because of this others may suggest that you have changed. In fact you yourself would feel different. Because now when you stand in front of the mirror you see O and not Q. But as a matter of fact YOU have not changed, rather your “Not You” part has become less. Your YOU was, is, and will always be the infinite eternal invisible ball of light. But the “Not You” part can always change.
This kinda identifying ourselves as what we are NOT as opposed to what we actually are causes severe problems in our world. One example would be like this. Imagine we have been beaten up pretty severely, so that our face is all black and blue, one eye is half shut, there is a huge gash on our face, nose is bleeding, there is fracture in one part of the face. So we go to the mirror and we see this horrific image. But sadly we have completely lost touch with what is really going on. So when we go the mirror and see such an abysmal image what we do is actually cover the mirror with duct tape, until we cant see any sign of our horrific face any more, rather than actually doing something about fixing our face. Rather than going after we go after the symptom.
Another example would be when we are driving a car and there is a tiny red light going off, rather than stopping the car and addressing it, we put a duct tape on that. Then we drive further and there is a larger red light flashing, we duct tape over that too. After each red light signal we ignore a bigger red light starts snarling at us, and our response is to cover it with an even bigger piece of duct tape. Soon our entire dashboard is nothing but duct tape, and we have effectively shut down all the ways our car could give us diagnostic information. And then finally our engine blows up, and we are like why did my engine blow up all of sudden?
When we ignore the real cause of our problems and instead we choose to respond to the symptoms by crushing, denying, stopping, rejecting them we are effectively shutting down all the divine communication being delivered to us. After all pain is just information, and universe is here to teach us, every time we don’t heed the lesson, a bigger harsher lesson will be delivered.
The good news is we can change our life by going after these chokeholds, these bruises on our face, the red light on our dashboard. All it takes is awareness and courage to step outside our comfort zone. It takes a desire to actually want to go after the cause and not just get rid of the symptom. Also understand that the entire trauma is actually inside your body. So when you decide to go after your chokeholds it requires a tremendous amount of work in being and feeling all the difficult feelings in your body. In fact every time you go in trauma some energy gets locked up in your body, that’s the actual chokehold. But then we don’t deal with that physical sensation in its point of inception in our body, we put thoughts on top of it. We get angry that they insulted us. Then we get sad that we are angry. Then we are angry that we are sad, and so on. If we get into the habit of actually feeling the pain of our trauma right then right there in our body we can immediately go to the chokehold release the energy and reclaim it right there!